Onsites and Marriages

Onsites and Marriages

Bollywood influences most, if not all of our decisions in real life. What was the 1st
thing we wanted to be when we were kids, HERO! Well, then they started showing
international destinations in all movies, from Yash Chopras favorite
Switzerland to Egypt and so on. The guy would be living in a chawl in suburban Mumbai but will sing a
song with his girl in Monaco
. Looking at the beautiful
backgrounds in those movies (Not just Bolly, now most of the film divisions in
India go abroad for shooting. And they say “We got no money”, liars) Anyway you
all must be thinking what this Idiot is upto, and what does it have to do with the
topic. So here it is. What is the cheapest most affordable way to travel to
another country by the people of our nation today. Onsite! The mere word of it
raises the hair on your hands. The IT crowds favorite “Wet Dream”
(Besides Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian, but we will get to that later).
Onsites and Marriages
An onsite opportunity in a good country
& especially a long assignment means so many things, it means more money (Dollara Dollara), it means free travel (YAY), it means
swiping the heck out of the corporate card. “Company
ka maal, dariya mei daal”
, and for many of the people I know, it’s
about gaining the license to ask the best looking girl to marry you
(Through your parents of course). The fairest maiden in the land (Just the color
my friend, it’s all an illusion)  “My son
currently works in the United States”, “my Son is on a 5 year project in the UK”,
“my nephew is in Australia”(Mate!). Very commonly heard sentences these days,
especially when they are trying to pitch talk marriage proposals.
Everywhere in the country, being on
an onsite assignment is the quickest way to get married. You may look like a
poop flinging ape in a Mexican zoo, but that H1B will turn you into a Prince
Charming before someone can say WTF?
The guy for whom a razor is
like kryptonite. With clothes so miss matched that Tim Gunn would want to
commit suicide and a stench so powerful that a vat of cologne would want to
undergo reverse processing. But hey, look at the guy’s passport, and that’s all
you need. If it is stamped, it is GOOD BABY!
For all the girls reading this who
are saying this is all BS, yes, not every parent would be this way. But ask yourself, how
many friends you know from work, who are indirectly looking for a nice NRI with
an Appu meets Randy Marsh accent. The end game is this, parents want the best
of future for their kids, and it’s a common misnomer that a person working in a western
country would ideally be able to provide a better life
than a person
working in India (Bharat mata ki jai!) We have what it takes to live a
luxurious life. (Yes I know there are some other kinds of shiznit going on in
India, I watch the news too) But I am telling you this out of 1st
hand experience; unless you are
living an extremely high profile life there with lots of earning (to spare),
you are worse off in another country than you are here. I remember the
time when I used to take walks with my friend in Lake Lucerne and say, “bro,
people think living outside India is a piece of cake, its party party all the
time. They have no idea what it is for real.” (That doesn’t mean I don’t miss
Switzerland. But that’s not the point.)
We are colonizing in other
countries like locusts and a time might come where we get thrown out of every
country on the planet. One Indian goes somewhere, the rest follow. “If he can do it I can do it”
is our undying motto. It is not wrong to want a better life, and it is not
wrong to want to move to another country, but parents please don’t let that become a certificate of decency in
this country. In my trips to the US of A, I have seen the most decent of guys
become idols of sleaze. The “Good boys”, the “Decent Lot” become a living
walking example of voyeurism, and whore mongers. You may leave the
country, but you can’t leave yourself.
All they want to do is let
their deepest desires of porn”ism” come to life!
And he said, “Let there be
Sleaze!” Oh and deliver
us from Evil too…
                The
girls in our country are a decent, family oriented, caring lot (Well most of
them, at least I’d like to think so). And parents want the
best for their kid
, that’s nothing new. But what happens when
you get your beautiful princess married to this bucket of sleaze of a person.
You might not be able to get a proper background check on the guy since he has
been out god knows doing what. What happens in
Vegas, stays in Vegas. You can try a number of contacts in the same
country and us Indians; we are good at pretending that we are the most sincere
lot in the world (Yeah, right!) No parent would ever come out and say my boy
has done this or done that. Everything is hidden till you get
married
and then, (drum roll)…
”You got conned”
                The
decent looking ones are the most dangerous in the world, they are an LPG
cylinder waiting to burst. So what happens when Fire meets an already unstable
ready to burst cylinder of LPG (now that’s a no brainer). Your every day,
hiding porn in the special drive Subbu has been let lose in the world which is
culturally free
(and not accepted by your tradition). He has not
seen this up close and personal, that too with so many options to satisfy your
needs (for really low budgets too).
Onsites and Marriages
If
it itches, it will be scratched
There is only so much a person can
do. All it takes is a little slip and they end up at the deepest end of the
rabbit hole. Most of the guys
who want an onsite assignment so badly don’t do it for the career
.
They do it because they have heard stories of lands far, far away, where you
can have a women do the dirty dance with no pants for 40 bucks an hour. Now
that they know what is waiting for them at the other end, the monkey wants to
jump!
(Bad monkey! Now go and sit in the corner)
                So
anyway, that’s how we end up making the incorrect match all
in the name of better future. This in turn leads to harassment cases, broken marriages,
sadness, loneliness, low self esteem, domestic violence
. I have
heard about cases where the husbands have kept their wives in house arrest for years,
now what kind of sick bassguitar (I am not
allowed to use the other word for obvious reasons) does that. Women lose their
freedom in one of the freest nations of the world. What happens to the family
of those innocent ones? An entire family destroyed just because you had dollar
signs printed on your eyes the moment they said N.R.I. (more like NRH: Not
Required Here)
Onsites and Marriages
                I’d be
a total douche if I don’t write about the genuinely nice lot.
The actual good boys, yes there are some too. Even if you tend
to disagree. There are
seriously career oriented guys
who work hard no matter where they
are. They do play, but that kind of play doesn’t lead to shame and disgrace.
Hats off to those brave ones who kept it in their pants. Come sun, rain, hail
or snow, kept working. But I’d say you have a better chance of winning
the lottery.
 
                So my
request to the parents of this generation, who might have gotten redirected
here while trying to search for a match at matrimonial website and ended up
reading this post. Please be careful with your child’s
future
. Don’t be blind sighted by those Dollar
symbols
. Don’t ASSume, Don’t be in a hurry. And
don’t be arrogant saying (I know what I am doing). You are human, and humans make
mistakes
. Please don’t make a mistake which is irreversible.
There are some good guys here, give them a chance. (Unless you want India to
end up being a big frigging old age home full of single men). Charity begins at
HOME (Hehehe) and my home is empty. (Interested…anyone?)
Onsites and Marriages
   –  Many a heart I have seen broken,   I, am   
Your single desi,
Disclosure: We are a professional review website that sometimes receive compensation or free units from the companies whose products we review. We test each product thoroughly and give high marks to only the very best. We are independently owned and the opinions expressed here are our own.